I was reborn yesterday. The world looks anew now. Things have changed in my mind. I have crossed a Roubicon. It was the very ne plus ultra of excitment.
I was in a bar in Queenstown a couple of nights ago having a few drinks with two Swedish girls when an oldish Maroi dude sat besdie me with his sagacious looking wife. One thing lead to another and we started trading interesting stories about our respective cultures. The topic quickly moved onto how I was enjoying New Zealand, and in particular, Queenstown. I explained to the sage looking man and his gentle wife that I was having a wonderful time. He told me he could see it in my auro before i even spoke. He knew i was happy. He asked me what adventure sports i had done, what i thought of them and what ones did i still want to do. Over a very enjoyable pint of local DB brew i told him in colourful detail my thoughts and observations. I also explained to him that while having done my fair share, i was low on time and money and as such couldn't get it all in in this visit. As i explained to him the iterinary i was and would be leading and the budgetary mechanics involved he excused himself politely and asked could he talk to his wife. Both talked in whispers and then smiled, shook their heads in affirmation and then returned to my company. The eagle featured man then asked me if i had anything planned for the next day. I told him no. He then asked me would i be interested in a once off, never to be repeated sports thrill of a life time. Was i what... He then over the course of 30 minutes explained to me how he and his family and sisters had come from nothing and through a combination of fortune and hard work he was now a multi-millionaire through a portfolio of investments mainly split into property and adventure sports companies. He told me that i reminded him of his son that was living in London, then with a smile he offered me a free package of adventure sports starting at 9am the next day. He explained to me vaguely what was involoved and guaranteed me it would be the best day of my life. A bold statement. After asking a few questions about the practicalities involved and consultating with my brother i agreed.
At 9am i was collected on a hot-rod motor bike from Queenstown Lodge where i was staying. From there I was drove to the local airport and qucikly strapped up and placed in a 4 man microplane that ascended to 15,000 ft. In the plane i was introduced to my tandem instrcutor, a cool, hip hop clothes wearing dude called Rodge. In the plane he placed some more clips on my harness and produced out of a cloth bag a bungy cord. I was worried. I wasn't going for the world record highest bungy jump by any chance? He laughed at me loudly as one of his colleagues came over and doubled checked everything. He calmed me down
a little by explaining that there would be no world record attempts but there would be a bungy jump. I was to free fall for 60 seconds, after that he would release a parachute that would bring us gently towards the river below and at 300meters he would release the bungy cord and he said i could then make a jump. He explained that the man i had talked to in the bar had developed the jump and that it was perfectly safe, to trust him and that someone would be waiting for me below. At this stage i had little or no choice and went along with it. It was amazing. I nearly sh*t my pants. The best part was the bungy jump. It was so weird, for someone even to think up the concept and to go ahead wIth building a special double sized parachute was poco loco.
When i gently met the river a large white pole was extended to me from two other guys in a yellow raft. They undid my harness placed a life jacket on me, a pink helmet and gave me and oar. Then, they made me repeat a prayer with them in Maroi and one of them asked me to go to the front with him and help paddle down the ravine. After about 15 minutes of hard paddling we landed ourself in the fercouisly wild rapids. The guide at the back fell out at one stage but got back in. The ride lasted an hour but it went by like the blinking of a river swill on the horizon. If that wasn't enough at the end I was met by a young red headed Australian called, Bruce. He took a photo of me and asked me to remove my clothes. He handed me a towel and told me to change back into a new set of clothes which he gave me. After this he gave me a lunch box and told me to sit with him and eat. I had a chicken sandwich, a drink and a bit of fruit. He told me a little about his home looked at his watch, 12.30pm, and then said right lets go. He brought me through a forest and ahead of us was a chopper. We got on the helicopter and he fired up the engines. After lift off, he lashed on a banging techno number that i could hear in the headphones and we headed for Mount Cook and the massive Tasman Glacier. We landed after 30 minutes and we were both greeted by a very attractive teenage girl called, Jade. She had a snow board waiting for me and asked me if was ready to rock. I simply nodded and got strapped up. The descent was amazing. It was also really cool the way the helicopter pilot hovered above us for about 10 minutes before he left. I could visualise him nodding and shaking his head to his tunes as he smiled and watched me cresting the snow dunes and skimming off the ice.
Within 40 minutes it was finsihed. On the way down i kept thinking, what the f*ck is going to be next. I hoped there would be more. There was. Another dude, this time a much older man, Mr Robert P Philip - well, when i say old, older then the ones before - i'd say mid-40s, handed me a mountain bike and pointed to a dense forest path. We went over, and started a gentle descent a long the meandering path. This lasted about 30 minutes and was the least strenuous of all the trips. When he got off his bike we had arrived at a small jungle hut. He brought me inside and in there i was greeted by the man in the pub in the face and his wife. We all laughed when we met. He asked me if i was enjoyng myself. I smiled and just laughted out loud. He told me he'd take that as a Yes. Then he handed me the keys to a 4x4 quad and told me that the both of us would have a little ride along the ledge road, which is this tight hair pin, rubble road on the side of a gorge. The scenary was spectaular the weather was playing a blinder and hitting the river below to throw up a variety of reflecting lights from the stones in the river bed.
After an hour we arrived at a thermal bath and inside were the two Swedish girls that i had seen in the bar the night before. I was ushered to a changing room. Given the smallest pair of speedos you have ever seen and was told that for the next hour i was to be the the Irish ham in a Swedish love sandwich. I was fed grapes, kiwi slices and told that i would receive a pair of Koala slippers after their bubble bath show!! Oh the rest, lets just say its not for public consumption...
I was reborn yesterday. The world looks anew now.
If you don't beleive me you can send a mail to the girls and they'll tell you Their addresses are:
metofat@yahoo.se and elizabeth
longnose@hotmail.com
